🤣

 No one :..........

Tiba tiba 

Technician yang datang repair washing machine rumah aku.

"Saya dah kahwin" 

Muka aku nampak macam nak mengorat orang ke? 😂 

Demotivated

 To be honest lately ni aku rasa demotivated sangat sangat sangat sangat sangat sangat sangat sangat sangat sangat sangat sangat sangat. Berjuta kali "sangat" pun tak boleh capture perasaan demotivated yang aku rasa sekarang.

Rasa apa kita buat tak dihargai. How to say.

Aku rasa macam ni actually mainly sebab kerja. Kat office aku sekarang kekurangan staff. Dan aku terpaksa cover kerja staff yang dah resign. 

Sumpah penat! Bertambah penat bila boss kau tak nampak kerja kau dah overload sebenarnya. Paling sakit hati bila dia push nak kejar dateline tanpa dia sedar aku ni ada 2 tangan je! Mana nak settle semua dengan kadar segera! Penatttt.

Actually ni bukan first time aku rasa macam ni. Tapi, kali ni adalah yang paling heavy! Balik rumah je aku down. Tidur tak payah cakap la. Lepas Isyak dah tak mampu nak buat apa2 dah.

Mungkin dah sampai masa kott aku pindah haluan aku. Too long dah aku stay kat Company ni. Almost 8 years dah. 

Should i stay loyal or find another better opportunity?

Kadang-kadang aku wonder. Kenapa susah sangat aku move to another place. I had some thoughts. But i think bukan sebab attachment or whatever. Tapi sebab aku sendiri yang rasa belum cukup knowledge aku belajar from current workplace ni. 

Seriously, i learn a lot here. Working here now not so fun to compare from those days when we had some fun colleagues. Now, it's more like 'just colleague' with my colleague. Last time, we were so called 'family'. But now, all those People are gone. Only left me still hang in with the same bosses.

But, it still great though. The remuneration also quite good but i still think i deserve more 😜

Enough for now. 

Last but not least, i just want to share a quote i got on the radio, i listened to IKIM fm. Kalau sesiapa selalu dengar radio ni dia akan kenal Mona Jasman yang pandai cakap Arabic tu. I heard the quote from her and the quote stuck on my mind till now. Haha. She said "What you do, will come back to you" 

Okay bye! 

Hello 2022... Better late than never?

 Yuhuuu...

First writing for 2022 here.. Ngehhhh~~~~

Saje nak tulis something kat sini.... 

Actually today, aku pergi bonding time with my sister, Wani. Dia ajak aku makan kat IKEA. banyak juga kitorang makan! But, that's not the point. Aku happy harini dapat jumpa my sister sembang-sembang tentang masalah negara, masalah artis, masalah kucing, masalah kesihatan bla bla bla bla bla. Dah lama kami tak borak-borak macam tu. Dapat peluang ni.. Memang lama laa.. Sedar tak sedar berapa jam kitorang breakfast. Orang lain dah start nak lunch baru kitorang gerak. 

Actually, adik aku tengah preggy sekarang. Kesian dia penat jalan.. Asyik mintak duduk je..hahaha

Hope dia beranak dengan selamat dan dapat anak comel. aminnn.. 

Okay byee~~~~

Getting used to live alone but not wanting to be alone~~~~

 Hello dear self, 

I am writing this so that i can read it later when i turn 30 or even 40 to have the memories refresh ahead. 

If you are not aware. Today is actually the third day of Syawal. Yeah. Because of the pandemic now, we cannot balik kampung due to MCO 3.0. This is the second year for me Raya alone here in Kelana Jaya. 

To be honest, i am not super sad cannot balik kampung. But, i am super missing my family especially my parents & my siblings. It could be nice if i can Raya together with them. Yeah, i'm not that sad because i get used to it. I get used to be alone, to live alone. Isn't scary? I think it is not healthy to get used of living alone. Sometimes, i thought i do not need anybody in my life except my family. But, come to realize quickly that someday my brothers & sisters might have their own family. Takkan i nak still sorang-sorang kan? Yeah, kadang-kadang i fikir macam tu. Tapi, bila nak fikir to have my own small family i jadi takut. i don't even know why. 

I get mixed feelings. Sometimes, i feel like i dont want to get married. Sometimes, i feel like i want to have at least someone to live with me. At least, we can take good care of each other. Hmmm... Very complicated tho. I do think that i am too late already to get married. Huhu. I am glad now i have my good friends around me but they are not bound to always stick around me. I cannot depend on them also. 

I am such a complicated person i guess. Haihh. 

Dear Sarah. If you read this in future and you still do not have somebody beside you. Just so you know. I hope you are okay and stay strong. I believe you are stronger than you think. But, if you already have somebody by your side please be happy as well...!! Live to the fullest! 

Always put yourself first. Your own happiness is your priority and your responsibility.

Be well. 

Happy 2021~~~~

Finally, it's 2021. I can't believe. I'm still here... surviving.... Everyone else.. people around me.. My friends. My family. Everyone is making progress in their lives.

 Some already settle down.. getting married.. having children, having their own house, car, good career. I'm very glad they all could achieve that. But sometimes i feel very jealous if to compare their lives with mine. 

I don't know. I feel like I just live everyday, surviving day to day hopelessly. I hope there is also HOPE and CHANCE for me to have a life like people around me. Living happily... Posting happiness, share it with everyone else. 

Unfortunately, i could not do it. Because, i got nothing to proud of, to show to everyone. At my age, i suppose to have a so called partner for life. But, look at me now.. I have no plus one yet. But, i somewhat not that dissapointed to have one. However, when i see somebody else is making progress. I get the feel which makes me feel kind of sad. "What a sad life." 

I'm reaching 29 very soon. To be exact 6 days to go before i turn 29. 

I really hope for the best of me in 2021. I want to make my parents happy. I do not want to overthink something. I just want to live my life grateful for what i have. What i achieve that not everyone could achieve. 

I always pray to God that i don't have it easy. Sometimes, I pray "Ya Allah, just test me.. Test me anything. so that i could never forget YOU and always remember that i am yours. I shall return to you soon. Please always guide me to the right path of YOURS." 

Everyday i hope to become more stronger than yesterday. I TRUST ALLAH'S PLAN for me. I know i will have something better. 

What i need to do now is pray, and wait for it. 

Sometimes, i really need motivation. 

Actually, i do need it now. That's why i am writing this. 

Please be nice to me 2021... Looking forward to create wonderful memories.. 

:)

❤

Digital Diary...

Blog ni kalau ikut teori yang aku invent.. Aku berpendapat blog ni adalah sejenis diari yang berbentuk digital.. Sebab apa digital? Tidak perlu dijelaskan dengan lebih lanjut kot.. Semua pun faham apa itu digital rasanya...

Bezanya diari digital dengan diari common yang orang selalu guna iaitu diari yang ditulis dalam buku adalah dari segi privasi kot.. Kot la.. hehe... *Tak Yakin*
Yela, kalau kita guna buku diari, susah orang nak baca.. Kita mesti akan simpan elok2 diari kita tu kan, taknak bagi orang baca.. Lain pulak ceritanya kalau blog.. Kita publicize apa yang kita nak cakap secara terbuka.. So, sesiapa sahaja yang tahu kita punya blogspot address confirm boleh baca entry kita kan3333??? Hee~~~

Dah cukup satu perbezaan... Dapat la 3 markah kalau exam.. Point dengan huraian...

Apa sebab aku guna Digital Diari ni ehh??

Pertama, sebab aku malas nak tulis tangan guna pen... Betul ke ayat aku ni.. Lantak la.. haha
Kedua, tak ramai pun yang tau blog aku ni.. Jadi tak kesah kot nak tulis apa pun..
Ketiga, aku nak luahkan apa yang aku rasa terhadap satu2 hal atau benda....
Keempat, nanti kalau2 aku dah takde... Aku harap diorang boleh selongkar laa Digital Diari aku ni... Cari la kot2 ada cerita mengenai korang terselit dalam ni..
At least korang tahu apa yang aku rasa kan... Time tu kalau korang kot2 nak marah aku ke, dah tak boleh marah sebab aku dah takdeee... hehehe... Selamat aku.. fuhh... haha...

Tapi, Nanti lepas aku takde jangan lupa sedekah alfatihah untuk aku tau..

Terima KASIH.. :`)

No Title...

Lama jugak tak menulis...
Tak sempat nak fikir kata madah pujangga...
Otak beku..
Sebeku Hati ini...
Lalu perasaan menjadi Dingin...
Hingga mewujudkan Sarah Muhamad yang sifatnya seperti batu...
Klu dicampak dan tercampak tetap sama..
Tiada beza fiziknya..
Namun, rohaninya tak siapa yang tahu, apatah lagi memahami...
Hanya DIA yang mengerti apa yang terbuku dan tersirat di kalbu..
Terkadang yang tersurat itu mungkin dapat dibaca tetapi sukar untuk difahami..
Yang benar2 mengerti hanyalah si penulis cerita itu..

Dan untuk hidupku....

AKU lah penulisnya... AKU lah pencoraknya...

Tetapi, DIA yang menentukan setiap takdir hidupku.. DIA lah penentu segalanya...

ALLAH MAHA BERKUASA...